It is said that if you want to project confidence and energy you can ‘Fake it Till You Make It’
People now find it hard to believe that when I was young I had no confidence at all. I was a shy child who would cry at the drop of a hat. I found it hard to make friends and socialize at school so I was a ‘loner’.
It’s interesting how kids are like dogs with intuition. They seem to ‘smell’ fear, low self-esteem and insecurity. It is almost as if they are afraid it might be catching. With dogs, if you approach with confidence rather than fear there is far less chance of being growled at or bitten. The same applies with people.
What about that saying ‘You never get a second chance to make a first impression’.
What is a ‘first impression’ – is it an instinctive response to what we are projecting?
They say that people assess you 55% of the time by your body language, 38% by your voice and only 7% by your words. This assessment – judgement if you like – is usually sub-conscious. We can often tell from a glance what energy another person has, and his or her level of self esteem.
In my previous post I talked about good posture and how it can aid the body’s systems and enhance energy.There is more to it than that, because standing tall and straight, looking people in the eye and using open gestures instills confidence in ourselves and attracts confidence from other people.
This is where some would say, ‘Fake it till you make it’.
But does faking it really work?
To a certain extent it does.
Standing tall, for instance, will help you open up your lungs and breathe more deeply – I have talked about the many benefits of proper breathing.
- Relaxing your shoulders at the same time will relax your whole body and allow you to drop your hands down, and only raise them when you are making natural gestures to go with your words. The body language expert, Alan Pease, will tell you that crossing your arms across the body puts up barriers between you and other people. Clasping or wringing hands is a dead give-away showing lack of confidence, stress and tension.
- Relaxing and standing tall enable the body’s systems to work properly – all the circulatory systems do their job – circulating blood throughout the body – the skin looks healthier and eyes brighter with blood and oxygen.
- Proper breathing also circulates lymph – vital to cleanse and detoxify the system and boost the immune system.
- A healthy body will always project more energy and confidence.
What happens to the voice?
Standing tall and breathing properly provide the oxygen in the lungs to project the voice.
In my Toastmasters club there are some people with soft voices. How do they stand? Certainly not strongly. How do they breathe – not deeply.
My friend, the singer, Deborah Leigh-Russell knows how to project her voice through good posture and deep breathing. She is also a Drama teacher and a trainer. I went to a series of her drama courses at one time and she had excellent exercises to help us project our voices and create vocal variety. She had us walking around the room saying Abba babba babba, Acca Cacca cacca – etc right through the alphabet. Of course we laughed so much we filled our lungs with oxygen too. Being ridiculous in front of our peers can increase our confidence.
Laughing at ourselves and finding that it endears people to us rather than repelling them is great for confidence.
Posture, confidence and energy go together.
If you handle your posture, use open gestures, breathe deeply and focus on the other person rather than yourself your confidence will build and you will find that being yourself in front a wide range of people will become easier and easier.
The energy and enjoyment you obtain from this interaction will be enormous.
Try it and let me know of your results.
Confidence A magic ingredient, key to success Is confidence. This is the truth, not a guess. The person with confidence emanates grace. Her posture is strong, she’s a smile on her face. She holds up her chin so her voice projects out, And all can hear clearly there’s no need to shout. She knows what she’s saying before it is said, Because she’s researched and it’s all in her head. No need to reflect on the words she will say. Which means she can look in your eyes all the way. To engage, fascinate, take you on her path, Involve and inspire, encourage to laugh. With the confident one you are willing to trust To avail of her service is surely a must. So if you aspire to be lover or friend Gain confidence now and you’ll come to that end. (c) Joan Small
More about Confidence, Energy and Posture to come.
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Live with Energy
Visit: http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living’