Do you have confidence, or are you de-energized by lack of confidence in some areas?
I conducted a survey of my peers and was surprised to find that, even though most of them seem successful and happy in their lives, there were areas where they felt they needed to be more self confident.
Lacking confidence drains our energy. Conversely, lacking energy drains our confidence.
I wrote a book recently called ‘CFS in Men’ with a lovely guy called Max who had always had a lot of energy and zest for life, but after a series of stressful work situations he found himself feeling constantly tired, unable to get out of bed in the morning, achy and totally lacking in energy.
Max was eventually diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – a disease which appears to be on the increase because of the stresses of our modern society.
As you will know, if you have been reading my posts, I believe that stress is largely responsible for most, if not all, illnesses and disease in the body. Certainly in Max’s case his work history clearly showed the increasing levels of stress leading up to the time when he ‘went down’ with the disability.
But illness and disease aside, lacking confidence can have an instant or long term de-energizing effect.
The main areas where my survey participants lacked confidence were:
- In Social Situations
- Speaking in front of an audience
- Handling new stuff – particularly new technology
- Speaking with their work colleagues, bosses
- Applying for jobs
- Change – taking on a new business or major life change
- Positioning themselves as ‘experts’ in their areas of expertise
Do feel you lack confidence in any of these areas?
What are the underlying fears around lack of confidence?
The most common fear is the fear of rejection.
Someone told me that the fear of rejection goes back to our ancestors. Life and survival depended on being part of the group and having the support of others in it. When that support was withdrawn and the group member was rejected and outcast he died.
So instinctively, when we are rejected, we feel like we are going to die.
This undermines our confidence. We may be fearful of being an individual, exposing our true selves to others in case they disagree, ridicule or shun us.
How to overcome this?
Low Self-esteem is more prevalent than you would think. Scratch the surface of even the most charismatic or confident person you may find something in the past that has contributed to the feeling of low self esteem. Celebrities and movies stars and examples of this, compensating for their lack of confidence by taking drugs, alcohol, or become recluses.
There are strategies to overcome lack of confidence, to raise your energy levels and give an air of confidence that will attract confidence from others.
In my previous post I talked about the importance of posture – standing and sitting tall. In future articles I will expand more on how to raise your innermost self esteem and emanate confidence.
In the meantime, you may like to answer these questions:
- Do you lack confidence?
- In what area/s do you lack confidence?
- What are the underlying fears that create this lack of confidence? (e.g. fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking foolish, fear of making mistakes, not believing you are good enough etc.)
I invite you to leave your results in the ‘Leave a Comment’ box below. I moderate all comments, so if you don’t want it to be made public let me know.
I am writing a book about confidence, and your response will help me to make it more relevant.
Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ below and provide the answers to the questions above.
Live with Energy
Visit: http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living’