Being On One’s Own Can Be De-Energizing
Is this a true statement?
Are there times when it is fun to be alone?
Perhaps you have experienced some, such as when you are…
- reading a good book
- gaining some restful sleep
- focussing on something you want to learn or do
- walking in nature
You can probably add to the list.
Being alone and being lonely are not necessarily the same thing.
However, I think you would agree that being alone too often or for too long depletes the spirit – it’s de-energizing.
I met a friend for coffee yesterday and I shall call her Renee. She told me she had made the decision to let go of the so-called friends who were not serving her. Renee is a giving and caring person, but she had come to realise that some of the people she was spending time with were takers and were draining her energy.
Although she feels good about her decision, Renee is finding this interim period hard to cope with, as she now has to seek out like-minded people who will support her to replace the people who she is letting go out of her life.
This is like ‘recruiting a Fan Club’.
These days I am very clear about who I invite into my Fan Club, and I have no hesitation in letting people move on when they deplete my energy. This can come about if they do something that betrays my trust, or is hurtful in a serious way. I am not too quick to judge, because I know that none of us is perfect, and that includes me. We are all ‘diamonds in the rough’ and sometimes we have to put up with a bit of the rough that overlays the diamond.
My grandmother used to say:
All the world’s a little queer, excepting Thee and Me …
And even Thee’s a little queer
Unlike this saying, I recognise that I am a ‘little queer too’.
However, I do use my ‘gut feeling’ to tune into the energy that I feel when around another person, and this helps me determine the degree of ‘queerness’ (or lack of integrity really) that they have.
My motto is ‘Choose only those things that energize you and you will be energized for life’.
Being mutual Fans requires an outward as well as an inward flow. When recruiting Fans I keep in mind that the flow goes outward as well as inward. The poster I had on the back of the toilet door when my boys were growing up said: ‘To have a friend, be a friend’. Sometimes we even have to give a bit more before we receive.
The trick is to recognise when the flow is imbalanced
When we are giving much more, or receiving much more then it is time to look at whether this is a real Fan Club.
With Australia’s Melbourne Cup coming up, I was talking to my brother about going to his house to watch the race. He said, ‘If you want to bring some interesting people they will be welcome’.
When I asked him to clarify, he said ‘You know what I mean. Not boring people’.
My reply, ‘I don’t know any boring people’.
This is true. In the wide circle of friends and fans that I have, not one of them is boring.
I am amazed sometimes at the fascinating people I know and like, and who also know and like me, in the true sense of the word. They are willing to put up with my faults and foibles, just as I am willing to put up with theirs, and we support each other through the good and the bad.
Getting back to my friend Renee who is a spiritual person and draws on her higher power for guidance, she asked this power which people to let go of and which to keep. (This is similar to what I do with energy – the ‘gut feeling’ or intuition). She told me that I was one of the few ‘keepers’. This made me feel very privileged and special. It also confirmed that I am on the right path and have been living with more integrity as I truly am.
Do you have a Fan Club?
Do you have people around you that you know will encourage and uplift you, and who energize you when you are together?
What qualities would you like to see in your Fan Club members?
Are you still recruiting fans, or are you content with the circle of true friends you have?
Are your family members your fans?
This last is a tricky one, which I will write more about later.
I would love to hear from you, so please Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ below to add your successes or share your opinions.
Live with Energy
Visit: http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living