An Energized Move – Moving Out and Moving On

Moving House with Energy and Moving On with Anticipation

Moving House with Energy

Moving House with Energy

Recently I received the news that I would have to move out of my lovely home. Although I was expecting it for some time it was still a shock.

I have lived here for 3½ years and have treated it as my own.  Many friends and family have visited and stayed, I hosted a book launch, held workshops and a ‘Celebration Party’ here where 50 of us shared what we were celebrating. Many contributed to the entertainment so it was a celebration of the talents and abilities of those present also – singing, poetry, acting and more.

I love the house, and  I have beautiful memories to carry with me as I go through the process of moving.

Although Moving House is only # 32 in the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale it can still be stressful.

First there is the de-energizing effect of facing up to the impending change.

Second is the challenge of having to find somewhere else just as nice to live.
Thank goodness for the internet and realestate.com.au which allowed me to ‘shop online’ first. I looked at several houses and nothing inspired me, then I checked out the area where I used to live and ‘Lo and Behold’ the ideal house turned up.

Apart from being the size and style I liked, the view and the garden there were several extra bonuses; in the complex are two swimming pools (one is heated) so I can keep fit by swimming all year round. Then there is the gym and tennis court. I might even take up playing again. How does it get better than this?

The Third Stress Factor: organizing all the changes, redirections, re-connections, and notifying friends and relations, etc etc.

A long long list to get through.

Fourth: Cleaning, lawn mowing etc at the house I am leaving to make sure I hand it over in pristine condition.

Fifth: Pacing myself physically, emotionally and mentally so that I maintain my energy throughout the time.

I am so lucky and energized that I have wonderful friends (and my brother) who are helping me in so many ways with this move.

It looks like there will have to be another party coming up – a House Warming one.

Castles in the Sky

Castles in the Sky

The name of the complex I am moving into is ‘Castles in the Sky’ – and that is what it feels like – Somewhere Over the Rainbow – where I will be living with my friend Sue. How does it get better than this.

So – Moving House and Moving On can be energizing.

This is where the ‘anticipation’ comes in. I am so looking forward to this new beginning, and even the challenges it throws up. We don’t grow unless we move through new challenges with ease and joy. So far it has been easy and joyful for me, and I anticipate it will open up new opportunities and adventures. I do hope some of you can share them with me.
I am trusting that it will energize me to be more regular and consistent with my blog posts too.

A Poem – Moving House and Moving On

Sometimes we require a shove or a push to get us to move right along
A move that is physical brings on a change that can be a dirge or a song.
By leaving this place where I’ve known fun and love I’m facing some challenges new,
But the house that I’ve found that will soon be my home is one with some height and a view.

I’ll be up ‘In the Sky’ in a ‘Castle’ it seems,  as the name says that’s where it’s located.
Good fortune with follow me there I am sure for the ‘Place’ is ‘Fortuna’ – so stated.
Facilities many, a garden around, where the birds can join in with my song.
I’ll move there with energy, share lots of love and invite all my friends – come along.

It’s symbolic I’m sure of the change in my life, where I’ve done it at times rather tough.
My belief is that life should be easy and smooth, of roughness I’ve had quite enough.
From now I resolve to put out what I want – and what I am wanting for me
Is the same as for you – to receive as you give, that beautiful life energy.

© Joan Small June 2012

Live with Energy
Joan
 Visit:  http://www.confidenceiskey.com/ to find out about my book, ‘Confidence Is Key’  or http://www.theenergybook.com

Happy Toes and Energy to Dance

Toes for energyWhy Do Happy Toes Energize Me?

Nobody takes toes seriously!

I woke up this morning with happy toes! Some of you will know I went for a cropper last week, and at the time I thought my knees were the worst problem,  but when that pain subsided I realised it was my toes causing the most pain – the two smallest toes on my right foot.  

( Enter your details at the right to join my list —-> )

You would think toes didn’t matter that much, especially the little ones, but it is surprising how pain and injury in these small bodily parts can be limiting.

This morning I awoke without toe pain – Happy Toes meant a happy and energized me.

Louise Hay, my wellness guru, says in ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ toes represent the minor details of the future. Her affirmation is ‘All details take care of themselves’.

Had I been worrying about the minor details of my Hawaii trip? Certainly, the past week has been one of re-scheduling because of the collapse of Air Australia, and we have only just received our new flight details,  so at last I can truly relax and get excited about the holiday. We are now travelling on Hawaiian Airlines, which means we are going ‘The Hawaiian Way’ – and the bonus is we get an extra night in Honolulu paid for by the travel agent.

So my toes can heal now – the details of the future are taken care of.  With happy toes I will be able to learn to dance the hula. What can be more energizing than that?

Band Aids and a Kiss

On a physical level I did very little to help heal my toes. I wrapped them in bandaids.

How comforting the good old bandaid is! It reminds me of my childhood, and also reminds me of when I lovingly applied bandaids to my children’s minor injuries. 

People talk about ‘the bandaid treatment’ but let’s not knock it. It works!  Just as the ‘kiss it better’ treatment works for small children. There is something magical about this. Is it because the child believes it will get better that the bandaid and the kiss  take away the pain?

What We Believe Becomes Real – The Energizing (or de-energizing) Power of Belief

Last night I watched a movie called ‘The Invention of Lying’, with Ricky Gervais, about a town where nobody lied about anything. Then the lead character, Mark Bellison, discovered he could lie.

Of course I am not advocating lying, but what this movie illustrates is the power of the mind and belief. When we are told something with enough autority we will believe it.

Doctors have a tremendous amount of authority and respect, and many people believe what they say. This can be a recovery or cure, but is more often a ‘sentence’ to lifelong dis-ease and dosing up on more and more drugs.

 How Does Belief Help Healing and Energy?

Most of us believe that the external body heals itself. We see new skin grow where grazes have turned to scabs: we even take it for granted that broken bones, once set in place, will knit together without medication.  Hence it was natural and normal for me to believe that my little toes would recover over time.

Time is a Great Healer

We often use the saying, ‘Time is a great healer’.  So how come many of us don’t believe that the internal organs will heal over time?

Don’t we know that the best thing we can do for the body is build up the immune system and then ‘get out of the body’s way’ so it can do what it is designed to do – heal itself. 

This means not focussing on the illness. Like Makia, in the Hawaiian Way says: ‘Energy flows where attention goes’, and ‘ focus on what you do want, not on what you don’t want.’ 

Natural and Normal

On Dr Oz this week he was talking about how to reduce bad cholesterol. He has some great blog posts on the subject of using natural means to change cholesterol levels.

Me, I don’t buy into all the attention to the numbers relating to cholesterol – to me it is focussing on what I don’t want. But I have to admit Dr Oz’s diagramatic explanation of how cholesterol is made and what its purpose is was very interesting. With the focus on cholesterol  we get the idea it is all bad, but in fact it is a natural, normal  and necessary building block for our cells.

Give it No Thought

Staying healthy is easy – just as ‘Life is meant to be easy’ – and energizing. All we have to do is follow some simple basic principles and then get out of our own way so that the automatic healing system that comes naturally to our bodies and minds can work. 

I’ve mentioned my friend Richard Grant before, with his book ‘Give it No Thought’. If you can give no thought to illness and focus on wellness – ease rather than dis-ease – you will find you are happier, healthier and more energized every day.

So this week I am looking forward to ‘all the details taking care of themselves’, having an energizing time as my toes get happier, and focussing on all the exciting energizing things coming up.

I hope you can do the same. 

Sickness Or Health
All around me every day
The world is sick. These people say
‘I’ve got the flu, my knees are sore,
My heart is weak. I’m feeling poor.

‘Unknown syndromes, doctors named them.
On the health scheme, pills, I’ve claimed them.
Two I’m taking when I rise,
Another two, the docs advise,
And ere I sleep there’s three or four.
I cannot guess how many more.

‘I wake up feeling good and bright,
Then take my pills. Oh what a fright.
I fall asleep, I’m feeling sick.
Is this the cure?  I need help quick’.

These medications make no sense.
Try good nutrition, good thoughts. Hence
The cure’s within me, body, mind.
True ‘wellness’ every day I’ll find.

© Joan Small

Let me have your comments, and tell me about how you are energizing your life with natural healing. If you can’t see the Comments link below, click on the title of this blog and it will take you to a page where you can scroll down and leave your reply.

Live with Energy

Joan

 Visit:  http://www.confidenceiskey.com/ to find out about my book, ‘Confidence Is Key’  or http://www.theenergybook.com

 

 

 

Energy from the Interim

Use the Interim to Energize

Do you have the same thing I do – difficulty in getting back into the swing of things after the holiday period? I am ashamed to realise that this is the last day of January, and I haven’t written a post since New Year. 

I tell a lie – I don’t do shame!  But it amazes me that it has taken this long to get writing to you again and I have had to push through blockages to get here. 

It’s not that I haven’t done anything at all – I have just done ‘everything else’ but write my posts, and contact all my wonderful friends that have taken the trouble to join my list. (If you haven’t already – do put your name and email at the right ——-> to join. As you will realise, I won’t bombard you with a lot of extra emails.)

Joan Small family

Me with my son and his three beautiful daughters

What have I been doing in the ‘Interim’?  

I love that word ‘interim’ – a good sounding word that means exactly what I want it to:  an intervening time, an interval.  So, I have just been having an ‘interval’ like the lull in the middle of a grand performance. In the interval the actors prepare for the next Act. The audience refreshes themselves with food and drink, and many visit the bathroom – eliminating waste is important too. Perhaps this is what the Interim is all about.

During that intervening time for me, I actually achieved quite a lot. I did the relaxing and refreshing, and also eliminated a lot of clutter from my garage, my office and my mind. I prepared myself of the next Act of my life.

Here’s My Interim List (being a Virgo I love lists!):

  • Caught up with family when they visited the Gold Coast – An energizing time in the rainforest and at the beach
  • Re-focussed and wrote more of my Young Adults fantasy fiction adventure novel, and entering a competition with it – broke through some more blockages and gained the energy to do it.
  • Compiled ‘A Kaleidoscope of Aussie Poetry’ Ebook for my Poetry in Paradise group. Creating a product is always energizing.  Download it free Here 
  • Started Yoga Class – a new activity. More about that in my next post. A great body cleanse.
  • Mulled over my next book about feeling young while growing older  – can’t wait to start writing it. Watch this space – lots of amazing things I’ve learned about feeling young.

Not too bad an ‘Interim List’ perhaps. Certainly energizing to look at it and discover what I have been doing while avoiding what I thought I should be doing. (See my poem about Procrastination below.)

What is your ‘Interim List’?  What have you been doing while you have been avoiding doing what you think you should be doing?

There’s not many things I hate, but I hate that horrible ‘should’ word. Why?  Because ‘should’ implies that someone outside of ourselves is telling us to do it. It’s usually an authority figure, and often in the past – a parent, teacher, well-meaning friend, doctor, etc etc. If someone in the present is telling you what you should be doing, consider letting that person go out of your life.

How many de-energizing  ‘shoulds’ do you have? 

  • I should do more exercise
  • I should take more pills
  • I should work harder / longer
  • I should mow the lawn, mop the floors, visit my in-laws

The list is endless.

Just ask yourself, ‘Why Should I? Who says?’  You may find you can reclaim a whole lot of fun time, me time, leisure and pampering time, simply by just letting go of the shoulds.

Don’t forget the most important part that really recharges your energy cells – that is Let Go of the Guilt.

When you let go of any shame or guilt from not doing what you should be doing, you can really live in the Now. That is the very best energizer of all.

Reclaim your energy – enjoy the Interim, send those shoulds and guilts packing and live to enjoy the moment.

I am.  And look what’s happened. I have written a new post.

Procrastination
I’m fighting still procrastination.
Or is it just prevarication.
To put things off, show hesitation
Leads to loss of motivation.
Even worse, to much frustration,
Production loss, deterioration.
Conversely there’s the implication,
Do it now brings great elation,
Makes things work, facilitation.
Others show appreciation.
Stand and gaze in admiration.
Here is one who leads the nation,
Simply by fast application,
Action now, true dedication.

c) Joan Small 2003

I would love to hear about your ‘Interim List’.
Leave a reply below, or if you cannot see where to comment, click on the title of the post and it will take you through to a page where you can scroll down to the bottom and write your views. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Live with Energy
Joan
Visit:  http://www.confidenceiskey.com/ to find out about my book, ‘Confidence Is Key’  or http://www.theenergybook.com

 

From A Wild Life to Succeeding With Confidence – Interview with Aldwyn Altuney

Aldwyn Altuney Tells Joan Small How She Gained Confidence and Energized Her life

It was my pleasure to interview my good friend Aldwyn Altuney, an energized young lady who is fun loving, on the go, and never too busy to smile, be friendly and encourage others. 

Aldwyn is a photojournalist,  a Corporate Communications Consultant and Director of AA Xposé Media – also the founder of Animal Action Day annual event on the Gold Coast, Australia.

Bikini Parade

Recently, just for fun, Aldwyn wore her bikini to join hundreds of other bikini clad ladies who gathered on the Gold  Coast’s Glitter Strip to set a Guinness World Record for the biggest-ever bikini parade. 357 was the winning number.

This shows the level of energy and confidence Aldwyn has attained.

Not Always Confident

Aldwyn was born of European parents and felt she didn’t fit in, growing up. Despite being successful academically at school and even making the Australian Table Tennis team, she was not confident socially and during one period of her life even wanted to drop out altogether.

Wild Lifestyle

As a teenager she left home and moved in with other teens who were into alcohol, drugs and a wild lifestyle. Some were suicidal.  Aldwyn went through the gothic/punk/hippie sub cultures trying to find out where she fitted. It was a dark space. The sad family situations showed her the life she didn’t want to lead. 

A Life Changing Decision

At this point, Aldwyn made a decision that she wanted to live an empowered life and make a difference in areas that mattered to her,  such as animal action and environmental issues.

She moved on, went to University in Canberra, acquired a media degree and found the media a great way to get powerful messages out. The more she realised she could step up and make a difference  and the more she could help others to make a difference the more confidence she had to keep going and follow her path. 

Make Time For Yourself

Along the way Aldwyn has had to learn to nourish and nurture herself – go to the beach, sunbake and swim in the ocean, have a massage and so on. She feels it is important to make time for herself to re-energize and re-charge.

Personal Development

Aldwyn attributes much of her confidence to the personal development programs she has undertaken. They helped her see the limiting behaviours that were stopping her from moving forward.

Now she finds she doesn’t take it personally when other people hit her with negatives.  Awareness is one of the keys, and when negatives do come her way she can easily discern which is her stuff and which belongs to others and not take it on board. 

Aldwyn recommends personal development, and also hanging out with entrepreneurs and like-minded people. Having a great network around you and building your personal fan club is really important.

Alwyn Altuney can be contacted at www.aaxpose.com or on Facebook, Twitter and Linked In.

 I would love to receive your feedback, so please Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ below to add your successes or share your opinions.

Live with Energy
Joan
Visit:  http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living’
Coming soon, ‘Confidence – The Key To Success in Life and Business’

Choose Your Fans to Gain Confidence and Energize Your Life

Being On One’s Own Can Be De-Energizing

Is this a true statement?
A
re there times when it is fun to be alone?
Perhaps you have experienced some, such as when you are…

  • reading a good book
  • meditating
  • gaining some restful sleep
  • focussing on something you want to learn or do
  • walking in nature

You can probably add to the list.

Standing Alone With Confidence

Standing Alone With Confidence

Being alone and being lonely are not necessarily the same thing.

However, I think you would agree that being alone too often or for too long depletes the spirit – it’s de-energizing.

I met a friend for coffee yesterday and I shall call her Renee. She told me she had made the decision to let go of the so-called friends who were not serving her. Renee is a giving and caring person, but she had come to realise that some of the people she was spending time with were takers and were draining her energy.

Although she feels good about her decision, Renee is finding this interim period hard to cope with, as she now has to seek out like-minded people who will support her to replace the people who she is letting go out of her life.

This is like ‘recruiting a Fan Club’.

These days I am very clear about who I invite into my Fan Club, and I have no hesitation in letting people move on when they deplete my energy.  This can come about if they do something that betrays my trust, or is hurtful in a serious way. I am not too quick to judge, because I know that none of us is perfect, and that includes me. We are all ‘diamonds in the rough’ and sometimes we have to put up with a bit of the rough that overlays the diamond.

My grandmother used to say:

All the world’s a little queer, excepting Thee and Me …
And even Thee’s a little queer

Unlike this saying, I recognise that I am a ‘little queer too’.

However, I do use my ‘gut feeling’ to tune into the energy that I feel when around another person, and this helps me determine the degree of ‘queerness’ (or lack of integrity really) that they have.

My motto is ‘Choose only those things that energize you and you will be energized for life’.

Being mutual Fans requires an outward as well as an inward flow. When recruiting Fans I keep in mind that the flow goes outward as well as inward. The poster I had on the back of the toilet door when my boys were growing up said: ‘To have a friend, be a friend’. Sometimes we even have to give a bit more before we receive.

The trick is to recognise when the flow is imbalanced

When we are giving much more, or receiving much more then it is time to look at whether this is a real Fan Club.

Australia's Melbourne Cup

Australia's Melbourne Cup

With Australia’s Melbourne Cup coming up, I was talking to my brother about going to his house to watch the race. He said, ‘If you want to bring some interesting people they will be welcome’. 
When I asked him to clarify, he said ‘You know what I mean. Not boring people’.
My reply, ‘I don’t know any boring people’.

This is true. In the wide circle of friends and fans that I have, not one of them is boring.

I am amazed sometimes at the fascinating people I know and like, and who also know and like me, in the true sense of the word. They are willing to put up with my faults and foibles, just as I am willing to put up with theirs, and we support each other through the good and the bad.

Getting back to my friend Renee who is a spiritual person and draws on her higher power for guidance, she asked this power which people to let go of and which to keep. (This is similar to what I do with energy – the ‘gut feeling’ or intuition). She told me that I was one of the few ‘keepers’. This made me feel very privileged and special. It also confirmed that I am on the right path and have been living with more integrity as I truly am.

Do you have a Fan Club? 

Do you have people around you that you know will encourage and uplift you, and who energize you when you are together?

What qualities would you like to see in your Fan Club members?

Are you still recruiting fans, or are you content with the circle of true friends you have?

Are your family members your fans?
This last is a tricky one, which I will write more about later.

I would love to hear from you, so please Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ below to add your successes or share your opinions.

Live with Energy
Joan
Visit:  http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living

How to Energize Yourself With Confidence

Living With Confidence Can Energize You

How To Have Confidence and be energized

How To Have Confidence and be Energized

But how do you gain that confidence in all areas?

In my previous post I mentioned seven areas that my survey participants said they lacked confidence in.

They were:
1. In Social Situations
2. Speaking in front of an audience
3. Handling new stuff – particularly new technology
4. Speaking with their work colleagues, bosses
5. Applying for jobs
6. Change – taking on a new business or major life change
7. Positioning themselves as ‘experts’ in their areas of expertise

Fears Around Confidence

In my survey people said they feared:

  • rejection,
  • looking a fool,
  • not being intelligent enough,
  • asking dumb questions,
  • not knowing how to do something, or where to start,
  • being judged for the way I am
  • speaking about myself 
  • the future.

Not Being Good Enough

All of these things equate to fear of rejection – of not being good enough to live up to your own or others’ expectations.

Rejection of ourselves is the worst fear – if we constantly judge and criticize ourselves there is no way we can be confident with other people.

Our fear often comes from past experience. 

In my case it stemmed from my father, who frequently cut my communication – nothing I said seemed to be good enough or worthy of his attention. He would interrupt, put me down or get angry. This would cause me to cry, which he couldn’t handle, so I would retreat and ‘sulk’. For years I was too quiet and shy to cope well either in social situations or in front of groups. My older sister always seemed to be cleverer, better or brighter than me.

Even now, if I hear someone being praised highly, I have to stop myself from taking it personally – translating it to mean I am not as worthy.

A Situation in the Present that De-energizes You

anger undermines confidence and de-energizes

Anger undermines confidence and de-energizes

You  may be in  a situation right now that is reducing your self esteem – at home, at work or amongst your peers.

Who do you spend most of your time with? 

Who do you choose as your friends? Are they supportive and encouraging, or do they put you down – perhaps in jest, pretending it is just fun?

One of the worst things we can do to children as they grow up is to constantly tease them – make fun of them and expect them to laugh. It may be funny to the person dishing out the teasing, but not to the recipient, and constant teasing can easily destroy self-esteem.

I often watch the TV series ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ because of the interplay of personalities, and the way the various characters use put-downs or underhanded remarks  to manipulate and get their way. I am fascinated to see how Deborah survives in this dysfunctional family without losing her confidence or self-esteem. It is a very clever script.

The Intent Behind the Words

If you observe people, you can pick up the intent behind the words, and this can help you to immunize yourself against the barbs. I had to learn how to do this.

You may be in a seriously toxic relationship that is making it impossible to express your true self.

A lovely friend has written a book about the years she spent in a loveless relationship and how it drained her energy and reduced her abilities in many ways. After 29 years of marriage she chose to leave this situation and has since been able to blossom and shine her light in ways she would never have believed possible. Her book is called ‘Choosing To Cross The Line’ and her website  jocelynleckie.com.au.

If you are currently living with, or closely associated with, someone who constantly undermines your confidence then you may have to look at parting your ways.

If Your Lack of Confidence Comes From Past Experiences

There are strategies to use if you want to move on from your previous shyness, lack of confidence or inability to express yourself.

Giving the Appearance of Confidence
I don’t want to say ‘Fake it till you make it’ because I believe ‘acting as if’ is not the same as faking it.

If you observe what confident people do and how they present themselves, and you emulate them, acting as if you were already confident, people will invariably begin to treat your differently, which in turn will help to increase your confidence.

Becoming a ‘New Person’

When I went to Teacher Training College I had to board, as my home was in the country. I moved into a YWCA (Young Women’s Christian Association) Hostel where many other teacher trainees were staying. I decided to start afresh as a new person, and even changed my name to Joanne.

My room was in the centre of a long corridor, so most of the new residents had to pass it on their way to their rooms. I stood in the doorway and introduced myself as Joanne  to anyone walking past who looked like a student. Before long I had several new friends.

I repeated this on the first day of Teacher’s College amongst my co -students, and so built up another circle of friends.

Before long I had about 16 girlfriends. Some of us went to the local church and met some young men, and they joined our group.

Because I had pretended to be outgoing and confident, I was treated this way.

I was invited to spend holidays with my new friends in the country, and we went to parties, camps and other interesting things. My three years at College were a wonderful social time where my confidence continued to expand.

Did I Change Overnight?

No. I still suffered insecurities, but I had wonderful friends to support me and help me through the difficult times. I was able to leave behind the comments and criticisms of the past, to pretend and practice confidence in many different situations.

It was only when I went back home and was again under my father’s influence that I would slip back into the old ways.

Strategies To Gain More Confidence

Based on my experience back then, and how it has worked for me many times since, I recommend two things to begin overcoming your confidence issues:

1. Change your environment, your friends, your peers – the people you spend most of your time with, if they are undermining your confidence.

2. Act as if you already have confidence in the area you lack it. Observe other confident people and what they do and say, and imagine what that would be like if you did it. Then practice stepping out of your comfort zone. Make the first move. 

Baby steps are good at first. Don’t take on something too big. For instance, I didn’t decide to walk into a room full of people I didn’t know as my first step. I approached people one at a time. (It took me a lot longer to be able to go into that room full of people. More about that later.)

The important thing to remember is, if you get rebuffed it is probably not your stuff. Other people have their own reasons for not wanting to be approached. If you get knocked back just move onto the next as soon as possible. ‘Get back into the saddle’ so to speak.

However, if you put a smile on your face and approach in a friendly manner it is very likely the other person will respond the same way.

I would love to hear of your experiences approaching and talking with people you don’t know and how it energizes you. Please click on the link below that says ‘Leave a Comment’ and let me know.

Live with Energy
Joan
Visit:  http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living’

How Lack of Confidence Can De-Energize You

 Do you have confidence, or are you de-energized by  lack of confidence in some areas?

Confidence Creates Energy - Dance Like No-one Is Watching

Confidence Creates Energy Dance Like No-one Is Watching

 I conducted a survey of my peers and was surprised to find that, even though most of them seem successful and happy in their lives, there were areas where they felt they needed to be more self confident.

Lacking confidence drains our energy. Conversely, lacking energy drains our confidence.

I wrote a book recently called ‘CFS in Men’ with a lovely guy called Max who had always had a lot of energy and zest for life, but after a series of stressful work situations he found himself feeling constantly tired, unable to get out of bed in the morning, achy and totally lacking in energy.

Max was eventually diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – a disease which appears to be on the increase because of the stresses of our modern society.

As you will know, if you have been reading my posts, I believe that stress is largely responsible for most, if not all,  illnesses and disease in the body. Certainly in Max’s case his work history clearly showed the increasing levels of stress leading up to the time when he ‘went down’ with the disability.

But illness and disease aside, lacking confidence can have an instant or long term de-energizing effect.

The main areas where my survey participants lacked confidence were:

  1. In Social Situations
  2. Speaking in front of an audience
  3. Handling new stuff – particularly new technology
  4. Speaking with their work colleagues, bosses
  5. Applying for jobs
  6. Change – taking on a new business or major life change
  7. Positioning themselves as ‘experts’ in their areas of expertise

Do feel you lack confidence in any of these areas?

What are the underlying fears around lack of confidence?

The most common fear is the fear of rejection.
Someone told me that the fear of rejection goes back to our ancestors. Life and survival depended on being part of the group and having the support of others in it. When that support was withdrawn and the group member was rejected and outcast he died.

So instinctively, when we are rejected, we feel like we are going to die.
This undermines our confidence. We may be fearful of being an individual, exposing our true selves to others in case they disagree, ridicule or shun us.
How to overcome this?

Low Self-esteem is more prevalent than you would think. Scratch the surface of even the most charismatic or confident person you may find something in the past that has contributed to the feeling of low self esteem. Celebrities and movies stars and examples of this, compensating for their lack of confidence by taking drugs, alcohol, or become recluses.

There are strategies to overcome lack of confidence, to raise your energy levels and give an air of confidence that will attract confidence from others.

In my previous post I talked about the importance of posture – standing and sitting tall. In future articles I will expand more on how to raise your innermost self esteem and emanate confidence.

In the meantime, you may like to answer these questions:

  1. Do you lack confidence?
  2. In what area/s do you lack confidence?
  3. What are the underlying fears that create this lack of confidence? (e.g. fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of looking foolish, fear of making mistakes, not believing you are good enough etc.)

I invite you to leave your results in the ‘Leave a Comment’ box below. I moderate all comments, so if you don’t want it to be made public let me know.
I am writing a book about confidence, and your  response will help me to make it more relevant.

Click on ‘Leave a Comment’ below and provide the answers to the questions above.

Live with Energy
Joan
Visit:  http://www.theenergybook.com/ to find out about my book, ‘The Energy Book For Life – The Guidebook To Energized Living’